Rocking
back the clock

It’s never too late to be a rock superstar, reports STEPHEN GILES (rhythm guitar — first six bars of Mull Of Kintyre only)

WHAT do you get if you mix middle-aged rockers, timeless classics and musical instruments? It’s not a joke but it is something you’ll hear down the pub. The social band, beloved of birthday parties and golden weddings, is the best chance for most of us to sample the glory of performance while still leading our other lives.

        While the young and the hopeful focus on wowing Pop Idol judges, older musicians ply their trade in pubs and clubs as they rediscover long-lost teenage guitars, or even start bands for the first time. If you fancy making sweet music with a group of mates and maybe being paid for the privilege, look no further.

        We’ll start with some basics. Getting together. You don’t actually need a ready-made band. Advertising for like-minded souls in the local press or at music venues gives you a chance to specify your musical preferences and other requirements, ensuring you weed out the weirdos and find a good mix.

        Patrick Rose plays guitar in a band called Mid-Life Crisis, based in Jacksonville, Florida. In his mid-50s, he’s been playing professionally since he was 14. “Find the most honest, friendly, talented, outgoing people that you think you would like to become close friends with and go from there,” he says.   

        Your objectives for the band will determine which qualities you insist on (friendliness and honesty) and which can be masked by consumption of alcohol (Talent). So you’ve found your band — decent people with functioning instruments and a shared love of good music. What are you going to call yourselves? Patrick finds Mid-Life Crisis works well, convincing prospective audiences that you are (a) not to be taken too seriously and (b) likely to play tunes folk recognise.

        These two points are the keys to success. You need to have fun, so don’t treat the band as your chance to fund a fleet of Ferraris. At the same time, you want to earn at least enough money to cover costs; otherwise you’ll shell out a fortune just dragging kit around.

        Another Mid-Life Crisis, from Oldham, was set up by Bernie Allen and Alan Humphries with the specific aim of having fun and, in a noble twist, making some money for good causes. They aim to cover costs and kit through donations and sponsorship from local business. In its four years the band has seen a few personnel changes, but Bernie and Alan have always stuck firm to the guiding belief that they’re in it for a laugh.

        “We don’t do it to earn money, so there are no arguments,” says Bernie. “We’re not aiming for a breakthrough as a young band might.”

        With the right philosophy, it’s possible to combine fun and playing gigs. The amount you’re paid and whether you’ll have to change in one cubicle of the gents’ loos depends partly on your image. Some pub circuit bands resemble a genetically modified hybrid of Westlife and some department-store Santa. But providing you’re clean in your habits and have good repertoire of standards, you should gather reasonable gigs.

        Don’t be fooled into thinking that Sixties and Seventies playlist will debar you from 18th-birthday parties the more you rely on classics, the wider your potential audience.

        Dave Pratt, another guitarist in Jacksonville’s Mid-Life Crisis, stresses the importance of playing strengths. “I thought we would have a tough time appealing to younger audiences but I am continuously pleased and puzzled that the young ones love our music.” His message?  “Trust your instincts. If you’re passionate about your music, you’ll feel it and so will your audience.”

        Oldham’s Mid-Life Crisis have a different take on playlist demands; as no serious money changes hands they are free to experiment, as Bernie Allen explains. “We play the Beatles, The Monkees, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan but also modern acts like Oasis and Robbie Williams. Some of us have written songs that we’ve talked about including in our set.”

        Now you have the band, the name, a playlist and a philosophy, you’re all set to rock ‘n’ roll, right? Wrong. There’s one final challenge — the two Hs. Getting heard and hired. Dave Pratt offers some advice: “The only thing I can say here is perseverance. It takes time and effort. If you’re good, the jobs will come. Keep calling and getting in their face.”

        If this sounds too intimidating (or too much like intimidation), the best way to get hired is to make a decent demo CD - or ideally a DVD - of your set. It won’t cost much and it will help sell you to prospective venues. It’s also something to play to the friends of your teenage children, just in case they haven’t seen you in action.

        If you’ve made it this far without falling by the kerbside on the road to musical glory or being flattened by the juggernauts of rehearsals, family commitments and expensive kit, you have a great chance. But is it worth it?

        Bernie, who started his first band in his mid-40s, says: “I look forward to each gig a great deal. I get more relaxed with each gig but that’s not to say it gives me any less of a buzz now than it did when we first started.”

        Dave played in bands throughout his younger days, but gave up when work commitments took over. “When I picked up the guitar; it was like discovering your first love all over again,” he says. “I was hooked. All those other things were just my jobs, but this.... .this was my passion.”

        If you’re still not convinced, Patrick says: “Mick and Rod and Steve Tyler are still jumping around past 60. It’s not about age as much as doing things that make you feel great. People pay big bucks to dance around to loud music. We do it and they pay us for it!”

        I wonder if that Elvis jumpsuit still fits? All together now; a one, a two...

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Reproduced by D. Allen. from an article in the 'Daily Express', Friday, 22nd April 20055